Five Ways to Create Ideal Music Students

So here's the thing: Ideal clients are both found and created.

On one hand, there are certain important characteristics (such as similar values) that you and the family you're working with must naturally have in common for the relationship to be successful. These can't be changed by any actions you take.

Other issues, however, can be improved through thoughtful actions. For example, poor teacher/parent/student communication, lesson policy violations, and inappropriate relationship boundaries can absolutely be improved over time through deliberate steps you can take.

This is where your opportunity to create ideal music students lies.

Here are five actions you can take to positively influence your client relationships.

1. Communicate effectively.

We can't hold parents and students responsible for infractions they're not even aware they're making.

For example, if you prefer to limit student communications to certain business hours (and don't want to receive annoying "emergency" make-up requests at 11 p.m.), be sure to state your business hours in your policies.

Effective communication of your policies and expectations is important. It's also important that you do so in writing, either in your policies or through email.

2. Explain how your policies and expectations benefit the parent/student.

If you point out how any policy or expectation benefits the parent or student, they're more likely to comply.

Here are some examples:

Example 1 (student): "I ask you to practice consistently because I know you want to improve on your instrument/make first chair/win the audition, and consistent practice is an essential step in this process. I'm on your side!"

Example 2 (parent): "I understand you’d like a refund rather than a make-up for the lesson your child missed. I also know that you’re paying me for my expertise. In my experience, the best way for your child to maintain consistent progress on their instrument is to attend lessons regularly. My policy of offering make-ups for missed lessons (and limiting refunds to emergency situations only) is the best way to ensure that your child makes the progress you expect."

3. Write out responses for your most persistent problems.

Carefully thought-out, written responses that you can memorize will help you easily and consistently respond to issues when they arise.

First, identify your most common issues. Then write out clear, to-the-point statements that address each. Include the benefits of your policy to the parent/child. Familiarize yourself with your responses so you'll know what to say when these issues come up in lessons.

Example 1 (student): “I know that practicing scales can feel boring, but I’m asking you to do it because mastering them will make learning the music pieces you enjoy easier and faster."

Example 2 (parent): “I know that my make-up policies can feel frustrating, but these policies help ensure that all my students - each of whom needs flexibility from time to time - have the equal opportunity to schedule make-up lessons. I think fair practices are important for everyone, and I appreciate your patience with the system.”

4. Stick to your policies (even when your clients don’t).

Your consistency in following your policies is important even - especially - when you have a client who refuses to do so.

I'll start by giving an example from my own teaching experience. I had a long-time student whose parents I became friends with. Whenever their daughter missed a lesson, rather than utilizing the make-up calendar as per my policy, they emailed me to see if I could "squeeze them in" at a more convenient date or time.

I had to make a choice: give in to their request for special treatment, or stick to my guns and insist that they utilize the make-up calendar like everyone else. The first option was more comfortable but felt hypocritical and would create long-term problems. The second option was more awkward but had more integrity.

I chose option B. Eventually, the parents stopped asking for special treatment and scheduled their make-ups through the make-up calendar. (We've remained good friends. Phew.)

So this naturally leads to my next suggestion...

5. Be willing to feel uncomfortable in the short-term to be happier in the long-term.

These suggestions are simple, but not easy. Sticking to your policies can be particularly difficult if you are a people-pleaser (like yours truly), are very uncomfortable with conflict, or are impatient and prone to resolving problems quickly rather than well.

Personally, I've found overcoming these challenges to be well-worth the long-term benefits.

The truth is, we teach people how to treat us. It starts by recognizing our zones of influence and ends with taking deliberate action to turn unsatisfactory relationships into satisfactory ones.

These five actions can help you create ideal music students.

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