
It’s such a nasty surprise. A student with whom you thought you had a good relationship quits out of the blue. You’re left reeling. What happened? you think. You start questioning your teaching ability, your policies, your fees...
Practically speaking, the sudden drop can also cause financial issues which need to be addressed. But I’ve found that it’s often the disappointment and anxiety that makes the deepest impact over time.
To build emotional resilience when a student suddenly quits, here are a few strategies I learned over the course of my teaching career.
Remember that it’s not personal. We care about our students in part because we invest so much time and effort into their development. As hard as this might be to hear, it's important to remember that the feelings might not be mutual. I’ve learned that the way students and parents behave in lessons may or may not reflect their true level of enthusiasm or commitment. For example, a student or parent might behave more enthusiastically than they feel in lessons in order to please you or avoid conflict. Remembering this will help you keep some perspective about the relationship which will ease the shock and hurt if the student suddenly quits.
Seek self-worth through your career, not your students. If your ability to help others, your excellent teaching skills, or your well-run Studio make you feel good about yourself, that’s great! We all want to engage in work that’s meaningful and well done. The problem comes when you look for self-worth in your individual relationships with students or parents. You ultimately don’t know what their real priorities are or how they really feel about lessons, so it’s best not to focus on individual relationships as a source of self-esteem. Instead, remember that…
Students and parents are first and foremost clients. According to Marriam-Webster, the definition of a client is “a person who engages the professional advice or services of another”. This ultimately this best defines our core relationship with students and parents. Despite any deeper emotional attachment we might have developed with a student, it’s important to think of them as clients because…
What you see in lessons is the tip of the iceberg. We have to remember that each student’s life is more complex than we can possibly know (just like yours!). There may be financial issues, social pressures, activity conflicts, or home troubles that cause them to quit - things you may never know anything about. Our instructional ability or personal rapport with them might not be enough to overcome these factors. If we remember that lessons are just one part of their lives and that there are many other influences affecting them, it makes it easier to accept when a student suddenly quits.
Ask them why they quit - or don’t. If unexpected drops with no explanation are a once-in-a-while thing, you can be reasonably sure that it isn’t your personality, teaching abilities, policies, or fees that are the problem. What you offer might just not be a good fit for that particular student. By staying with you, the other students are endorsing your Studio just the way it is. That’s ultimately more important information. One way to find out useful information about perceptions of your Studio is to...
Do a Studio survey every one to two years. If you’d like greater insight into what parents and students really think about lessons, consider conducting a once-per-year survey of current students and parents. They’ll likely appreciate the opportunity to give you feedback and make suggestions. And the information you gain will boost your confidence and give you ideas for potential Studio changes.
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very good advice! Thank you!